When you really care about someone, you put your walls down naturally and let them into your life knowing someday they might hurt your heart. When that happens, you have to decide if any good can come from the pain or if it’s worthless. Well, I’m left to make the decision for myself right now. Lets hope taking the road I’ve never traveled before is the right one.
I’m afraid of feeling happy. Why? I know it will all disappear. It always does. I should cherish the moments of happiness that come and go, but I don’t like that it comes and goes. Maybe that’s just a part of life, but I hate it. It’s like me giving you a cure to your disease and then in a short period of time, you no longer have the cure. All you have left is the pain you once had except it gets worse because the pain eased for a while and you forgot how it felt. Now you have to deal all over again. Sometimes it’s better to stay at the bottom. High hopes and expectations always come down. I know it is better to be optimistic and just fight, but it’s hard to move forward when pain weighs more than a ton. Lets see you carry that pain before you judge another person’s struggle.
"This is really starting to get on my nerves. I mean you admit that you have a problem. You take the steps to deal with them. Then all a sudden everybody treats you like you’re a completely different person you know? Why can’t everyone realize I’m just the same old person I always was?"